Learning Curve: the course of progress made in learning something new.
I'd like to think of myself as an intelligent individual. Among the many words there are to describe me [both positive & negative] I'm organized; I like order & routine.
Right now I'm a Domestic Engineer and a Mary Kay Consultant, BUT even without a "normal" 9-5 job, my planner is marked up and highlighted in various colors to give myself a certain sense of control & purpose with each of my days.
I don't think there are enough words to describe how much of a learning and growing season God has placed me in at this time of my life. Letting go of control and having complete Faith, let me tell you, has been quite the uphill battle.
As my Faith continues to explode in my heart & my life, I'm starting to see things differently. This time in North Carolina has given me an incredible blessing: time for reflection.
Getting to the point, this post is about our upcoming move to California. My husband is a Marine, which has been a learning experience all on its own, but we're getting ready for our first move together and as the move gets closer, I keep finding myself having an internal battle with my thoughts and feelings.
Not to stretch too far, but I'd consider myself a quick learner; BUT apparently only when it comes to some things. The fact that E & I are moving across the country within the next few weeks completely blows my mind in tons of ways. Apparently my learning with regards to military life/having absolutely no control is slower than a turtle in peanut butter.
I find myself going back and forth between feeling excited and terrified [and every other feeling in between]. We don't have our orders yet, but know E will be finishing in the next few weeks. This is the first time the military will be moving us, so trying to figure out that process is confusing; Thank God for other couples who've "been there, done that" so they can help us! We don't know E's report date, so have no clue how many days we'll even have to move. Oh, and the most present in my mind currently:
we have no clue where we're going to live when we get there.
My emotional self got the best of me this weekend when I completely lost my marbles and cried. Thank God E is a "go with the flow" type of guy. He got me out of my hypothetical bubble where we only get 5 days to move and all of our things get broken or lost. Millions of people do this every year, it's part of the military lifestyle that I'm still trying to get used to. Obviously everything is going to work out, but training my mind to let go of control is extremely hard. I can, however, control random, menial household things that will ultimately make our move easier. I've started going through our things and organizing things to sell/throw away/donate.
Among the millions of things I haven't learned about this lifestyle yet, one thing I have learned is that we have amazing friends. We have friends who are already out in California who are willing to help us house hunt in return for dinner & drinks!
Thank the Lord.
With this time of reflection and prayer, among everything I have learned, I think the most important, reoccurring message I've gotten is that everything will work out exactly like it's supposed to. One of the biggest things I've tried to start doing in my life is praying constantly. Praying unceasingly is something I'll be working on for the rest of my life, but it is something that is already helping to shape the way I think and feel.
Happy Monday!
S.
